


survivors

by transpeterparker (partlycharlie)



Series: pride month 2k19 [14]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existentialism, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mentioned Skip Westcott, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Trans Peter Parker, is basically what i'm saying here, just so you know, like not really but it's him that peter is thinking of, lmao not even really i just like that that's a tag mostly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 17:02:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19322395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/partlycharlie/pseuds/transpeterparker
Summary: “Mr. Stark?”Tony hums. “What’s up, Underoos?”“Do you think trauma can cause changes in gender identity or sexual orientation?”





	survivors

**Author's Note:**

> i started writing this yesterday and then fell asleep and then finished it today so, um. here you go!
> 
> this is heavily an ID fic. like, hoo boy. this is something i've discussed with my therapist a LOT. uh. yeah
> 
> warnings are in the tags, peeps. let me know if there's anything i should've mentioned.

“Mr. Stark?”

Tony hums. “What’s up, Underoos?”

“Do you think trauma can cause changes in gender identity or sexual orientation?”

Tony pauses, looks up at Peter.

He isn’t looking up, tongue poking out between his teeth in that ridiculously adorable way that he has when he’s focused, but his eyes can’t seem to stay in one spot and his fingers are tapping restlessly against the tabletop. He’s nervous.

(Tony decides not to think about what it means that he knows Peter’s tells so well.)

“Well.”

“You - um, you. You don’t have to answer, if you don’t want to, or something,” Peter says, tripping over the words.

Ah. So it’s important, is what he means.

“Mmm. No, I will, just. Give me a sec, yeah? Kind of a - um. A heavy question.”

He had been about to say  _ a loaded question _ \- can you imagine? Jesus.

The backlash that would come from saying that - Tony shudders just to think about it.

“Yeah. Yeah, no problem.”

Tony focuses back onto the holograms in front of him, but he’s not really looking at them. He stays quiet for a minute, thinking.

“Well.” Tony takes his glasses off of his face and looks up at the ceiling. “Yeah, I suppose. I mean - depends what kind of trauma you’re talking about, you know? If it’s - I don’t know, I think probably any kind of trauma you experience as an adult either does or doesn’t have an effect, and it’ll be pretty obvious, y’know? Like, if after Af - Afghanistan, if I had suddenly wanted to wear dresses and heels, I think that’s something I probably would’ve been able to pinpoint to what happened there. But - childhood shit… I don’t know, really. Depends, I guess. Does it really matter, though? I mean - what happens, happens. Maybe going through trauma changed your gender. Maybe it made you gay. Maybe you can’t look at a certain gender the same way now. It is what it is, you know? It is what it is.”

There’s silence for another couple of seconds, and Tony tries really hard not to look back down, but -

Peter’s shoulders are shaking. Water - tears, oh shit, tears - are dripping onto his paper.

Oh, God, he knew this was going to happen.

_ Everything will be fine,  _ May said.  _ Just listen when the kid talks to you,  _ May said.  _ You’re not going to fuck up irreparably,  _ May said.

May was a fucking liar, apparently.

(Sorry, May. You’re not really a liar.)

“Oh, shit - are you okay? No, nope, dumb question - what did I say?” Tony presses a hand to Peter’s shoulder, not wanting to touch him if he doesn’t want it, but Peter leans into it so he sits down. “Ah, shit, I should’ve just refused to answer the question, I’m sorry, god damn it -” 

“No, Mr. Stark - Tony, it’s okay.” His voice is shaky and his smile is watery but it’s  _ there  _ and Tony feels like maybe he can breathe again.

He rubs his hand across Peter’s back (when the fuck did that happen? When did he cross the table? What?) absentmindedly, tilting Peter’s head toward him to check his eyes. “Like - sure, you’re okay, I’ll take it, that’s fine, but. Why are you crying?”

Peter shrugs, grinning, tears still dripping steadily down his cheeks. “Just - that’s kind of, like. Exactly what I needed to hear, you know?”

Tony’s eyes narrow. 

Yeah, yeah - he’ll take it.

He pulls Peter into a hug, gripping him tight. “Don’t fuckin’ scare me like that, kid.”

“Sorry.”

He snorts. “Don’t be sorry, kid, shit happens, just. Jeez. I thought I really fucked up, there.”

“Nah, you’re fine.” 

Peter’s wiry arms wrap around his waist and he smiles.

“Hey, Tony?”

“Yeah? I don’t know if I can handle another existentialist question.”

“No, it’s not - um. Just. I lo - thanks. Thanks, again.”

Tony’s eyes flicker. Had he…? 

No, no, probably not.

“Yeah, no problem, Pete. No problem.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you guys....... if not enjoyed, felt something while reading this? i guess? idk, this was a huge projection in general.
> 
> kudos and comments make my day <3 (for real, guys, i light up)
> 
> see yall soon


End file.
